Tuesday, May 26, 2009

North Korean Bomb

The only explanation I can see for the underground nuclear explosion detonated by North Korea over the weekend is fear of loss of attention.

Andy Borowitz' report today on the Obama Administration's reaction is very funny, and also brief:

U.S. to Respond to North Korea with ‘Strongest Possible Adjectives'

Obama: We are Prepared to Consult Thesaurus

One day after North Korea launched a successful test of a nuclear weapon, President Obama said that the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with "the strongest possible adjectives."

In remarks to reporters at the White House, Mr. Obama said that North Korea should fear the "full force and might of the United States' arsenal of adjectives" and called the missile test "reckless, reprehensible, objectionable, senseless, egregious and condemnable."

Standing at the President's side, Vice President Joseph Biden weighed in with some tough adjectives of his own, branding North Korean President Kim Jong-Il "totally wack and illin'."

Later in the day, Defense Secretary Robert Gates called the North Korean nuclear test "supercilious and jejune," leading some in diplomatic circles to worry that the U.S. might be running out of appropriate adjectives with which to craft its response.

But President Obama attempted to calm those fears, saying that the United States was prepared to "scour the thesaurus" to come up with additional adjectives and was "prepared to use adverbs" if necessary.

"Let's be clear: we are not taking adverbs off the table," Mr. Obama said. "If the need arises, we will use them forcefully, aggressively, swiftly, overwhelmingly and commandingly."

What's so good about it, of course, is the tone. People are beginning to have a feel how to jostle this administration.

North Korea itself, of course, is not so funny. Their leadership's attempt to prove they are scary and dangerous, instead of weak and pathetic, is just about working. They would be certifiably paranoid lunatics, except for the fact that everyone does hate them and wish them ill.

Their current need for aggressive posturing is to fulfill a bluff to punish the rest of the world for denouncing and ridiculing their recent missile launching. We should let them know that their next launch vehicle will be destroyed on the pad; the lesson we need to get across to them is that attention is not always in their interest. 

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